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. ‘The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?’The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’To which little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.’LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHLittle RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.‘Why’ asks the father?‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ ‘‘I said 6”, replies RALPHY.‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to. I’ve done girls just like you. They’re inexperienced, immature, and think all they have to contribute to sex is ‘cute.” David was quickly getting to me, and that in and of itself was disturbing me. The man didn’t seem to have an ‘off’ button. When I heard his breath quicken a little, I wondered if he was actually getting off on my misery. ‘It’s pathetic,’ he leaned in again. ‘no self-respecting man has no time for that shit.’ I hid my face, hands trembling. I’d never wanted to strangle someone more in my entire life. ‘Oh man… you want to cry, don’t you?’ he touched my shoulder and then gripped hard so I couldn’t jerk away. ‘You baby.’ The anger boiled inside me, but for some reason, I couldn’t manage to find my voice. ‘I said shut— ‘—he fucks you and ditches you and you think ‘that’s just tops,’ don’t you? You must think you’re having the best damn sex ever to keep going back to that prick.’ I bowed my head quickly to hide the shame in my eyes. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard a.
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